Walking the Talk

Someday I will glide again, effortlessly and powerfully on the ice. Not for the sake of winning a trophy, but to experience once again the feeling of my body moving in a way that no other sport or activity can duplicate. Speed intertwined with grace and strength all while balancing on a millimeter wide metal blade.

It has been nearly 30 years since I hung up my custom figure skates. In an act of self love on this Valentines Day I walked myself courageously into the Northwest Skate Authorities shop and purchased a pair of figure skates. I chose to walk my talk and turn this "someday" desire into an action TODAY! Even the simple act of lacing up the skates put a smile on my face and a bit of a knot in my belly. I have been bottling up this desire to take the ice again for many of those 30 years. I am ready to face my fears and take the risk of rediscovering a joy that has been buried deep within.

I am pretty sure I had skates on from the time I learned to walk. My parents tell me they would take me to frozen ponds in Boston with my double blades and I couldn't get enough. By age 5 I was competing and as I got older, I became more and more dedicated to the sport. I competed regionally, collected many trophies and awards and then I hit puberty. I started to wonder what life outside the rink would look like? Would I enjoy playing a team sport? Maybe it would be fun to be available for social events? Lucky for me my parents never pushed, they always supported me making my own decision to stay on the ice or hang up the skates.

I was 14 and I remember the day I told my mom I was done. I cant explain what came over me, but it wasnt a big event or accident that led to my decision. Something deep inside me just felt it was time to hang the white boots up and explore new adventures. It took about 15 years from that day for me to even put on a pair of skates and cruise around the rink recreationally with friends. You see, I was a competitor. I was someone who worked hard to perfect a craft that I loved and that made me feel strong, unique and unstoppable. It was emotionally hard for me to lace up crappy rental skates and glide around in one directional circles. I missed the thrill of the competition and energy of the music surging through my body. I missed the feeling of working so hard towards a passion that nothing else mattered.

I loved everything about ice skating...the music, the costumes, the intense coaching, the repetition of learning a new spin or jump until you nailed it, the early mornings at the rink before school and most especially that feeling when I finished a program in competition and I nailed it. My experience on the ice wasnt always pretty and in fact there were many, many tears and tough life lessons I learned at a young age, but I wouldn't take a single piece of my skating experience away. Ice skating shaped me from a vey young age. I am certain it is where I first learned how to rise and fall with grace (literally) and where I initially developed the belief that you can do anything if you are willing to put the work in!

I cant wait for my new blades to touch the ice and let the tears of joy stream down my face as all the feels come racing back. Stay tuned as I am sure I will have more to share about my experience reuniting with the ice.