October 3, 2020 waking up in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro beginning my 9 day trek up to the summit of Africa’s tallest peak at 19,341’ in celebration of my 45th year of life.  That was the plan, that was the dream.

I’ve been challenging myself to do uncomfortable things most of my life. Making the choice to go out on a limb has rarely been easy and has always been worth it. I guess that is why I keep choosing courage over comfort and trying to encourage others to join me! But recently I discovered that, even I have been holding myself back out of fear of failure, perceived ability and public opinion.

Change. Does that word make you cringe or feel curious? Maybe a bit of both? I remember a time in my life when I would do everything in my power to avoid change. I wanted predictability and efficiency. Every move was thoughtfully calculated to methodically control outcomes. I was always prepared because I was thinking three steps ahead. Talk about an exhausting mode of operation! But what happened when things didn’t go to plan? Yep, disappointment and all the feelings that accompany unmet expectations would quickly set in. In hindsight, this mode of change-resistant operation often left me feeling unfulfilled, exhausted and certainly not present.

Someday I will glide again, effortlessly and powerfully on the ice. Not for the sake of winning a trophy, but to experience once again the feeling of my body moving in a way that no other sport or activity can duplicate. Speed intertwined with grace and strength all while balancing on a millimeter wide metal blade.