Turning Limes Into Margaritas
October 3, 2020 waking up in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro beginning my 9 day trek up to the summit of Africa’s tallest peak at 19,341’ in celebration of my 45th year of life. That was the plan, that was the dream.
As was the case with many adventures for most people in 2020, my intense planning and increasing excitement for the future was to be flipped upside-down and rearranged. Africa, and frankly any travel, wasn’t in the cards for this year. I have worked my way through the disappointment over the past several months, but now how was I going to mark my 45th year of life? I knew I wanted to do something challenging, memorable and fun but what could come close to my thawrted aventure of a lifetime in the middle of a pandemic?
Birthdays are a great marker of time and an opportunity for personal reflection. They have always come with a mix of emotions for me. Birthdays are an inflection point. They present a reliable date every year to look where you have been and make plans for where you want to go. It is YOUR personal New Year!
Without a doubt 2020 has been a year of disappointments, unmet expectations, cancellations and unfinished business. My birthday adventure in Africa being cancelled was certainly disappointment worthy. It was to be a launching point for the next half of my life. It was a courageous undertaking. It was a BIG deal, for me. As I tried to navigate my feelings about my looming birthday and make a plan for what to do instead, I really struggled. I love what Mel Robbins had to say recently about her own birthday interrupted. Her points could be easily adapted to any situation when you feel lost, disappointed, sad and unsure of what to do next...
Self awareness- recognize and name whatever you are feeling.
Move your body- exercise won’t solve your problems but it will change your emotional state so you can think more clearly and optimistically.
Do something that makes you happy- happy people do things that make them happy! Big or small, make yourself smile.
Do a brain dump- journal out your thoughts. Get out of your head!
Use the mantra, “This is temporary”- Whatever it is you are experiencing is temporary, but so is your life. Force yourself to start dreaming again. When you give up on yourself you give up on your dreams. Create something to look forward to and dream big for your future! Despite how low you may feel, you have a choice.
Although I didn’t have access to these specific steps leading up to my birthday this year I was able to make a plan that connected me to the things that make me feel alive and happy. I was able to find comfort and delight in the unknown. I devised a plan that put my body in motion and my mind in a dream forward state.
October 3, 2020 waking up before sunrise in Bend, Oregon ready to hike America’s 6th largest ski resort and a place I have created countless memories with family and friends throughout my entire life. The summit of Mt Bachelor at 9,065’ was definitely not Kilimanjaro and not something on my someday list, but it turned out to be the perfect peak to usher in my personal New Year!
With uncertainty about the trailhead location, especially in the light of dawn and no real sense of how difficult the climb would be, I packed my Arbonne protein shake, plenty of water and lot’s of layers as I pushed fear aside and put one new boot in front of the other. I took my own advice and chose curiosity and courage!
It wasn’t completely clear to me why I desired a solo adevnture for my birthday, but as the expereince unfolded I started to better understand my craving. With every step I became more self aware. I was present. I stopped when I felt like stopping. I took pictures whenever and wherever I pleased. I plugged a combination of The Dave Matthews Band and Yacht Rock into my left AirPod and belted out my favorite lyrics as I moved step by step closer to the summit. Once I arrived at the tippy top of this mountain, I was presented with the gift of sunny skies, although a bit smokey, no wind and no other people for almost an hour! Just me, myself and I surrounded by 360 degree views of endless wilderness. You know I set up the self timer on my phone and unleashed the most ridiculous selfie session! I craved a solo adventure so that I could reconnect with myself!
Once I settled down for a snack I dangled my feet over the edge and sang some of my favorite DMB lyrics loud and proud through my ear to ear smile...
The opportunity to reconnect with yourself and be present really is a gift. Almost without fail, when I turn my attention to the present I experience things that otherwise go unnoticed; sights, sounds, smells, people, trails! Thankfully on this day I was very present because despite Mt Bachelor’s effort to provide trail info, the “yellow uphill hiking discs” that were supposed to be my trail markers, were nowhere to be found anywhere on the mountain. With my eyes wide open, my head on a swivel and my commitment to staying present, these incredible white arrows always appeared at the most critical moments!
Seriously, every time I thought I’d lost the trail and got a little nervous, I would stop, take a breathe, look up and sure enough a simple, perfectly placed white arrow would guide me towards my next step. EVERY TIME I saw one of these arrows it was like a gentle hug saying, “keep going this way! You’ve got this and I’ve got your back!” As I smiled with gratitude for every arrow, I thought about how transferable this lesson was for life in general. Be on the lookout for the signs that appear when you are present and embrace them!
As I reflect on my birthday adventure it has become much clearer why that whisper was telling me to go solo. I made myself happy on my birthday. I proved to myself that I can continue to do challenging things and find my through, especially when the trail isn’t clearly marked and the summit is far away. I was able to experience that satisfaction is possible even through mountains of disappointment. Obstacle is the opportunity, right?!
As much as I absolutely enjoyed my solo experience, I won't for a second deny how much I LOVED the trails’ end greeting from my sister who, while patiently waiting for my return from the trail, set up a full fledged margarita stand next to my parked car! As my sister so perfectly stated, “this adventure was your way of turning limes into margaritas for your 45th so let's celebrate!”
Despite the mountain of obstacles we are all facing, I am taking Gabby Bernstein’s advice and “working my happiness like a full time job!” Will you join me in getting curious about what makes you happy? Let’s surrender to the unknown and make it a practice to stay preset so that we see and trust the arrows when they appear seemingly out of nowhere. Onward and upward we go!